Dog and Cat Diary

> > DOG DIARY
> >
> > 7:00 AM - Outside! My favorite thing!
> > 8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
> > 9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
> > 9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
> > 10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!.
> > 12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
> > 1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
> > 2:00 PM - Looked out the window and barked! My
> > favorite thing!
> > 3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
> > 4:00 PM - Chased a bird out of the tree! My favorite
> > thing!
> > 5:00 PM - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
> > 6:00 PM - Watched my people eat! My favorite thing!
> > 6:20 PM - Table scraps! My favorite thing!
> > 7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
> > 8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite
> > thing!
> > 11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
> >
> >
> > CAT DIARY
> >
> > Day 983 of my captivity.
> >
> > My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little
> > dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
> > while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some
> > sort of dry nuggets.
> >
> > Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly
> > clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to
> > keep up my strength. The only thing that keeps me
> > going is my dream of escape.
> >
> > In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on
> > the carpet.
> >
> > Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless
> > body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike
> > fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates
> > what I am capable of. However, they merely made
> > condescending comments about what a 'good little
> > hunter' I am. Bastards!
> >
> > There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
> > tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the
> > duration of the event.
> > However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
> > overheard that my confinement was due to the power of
> > 'allergies.' I must learn what this means, and how to
> > use it to my advantage.
> >
> > Today I was almost successful in an attempt to
> > assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his
> > feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow
> > -- but at the top of the stairs.
>
> I am convinced that the other prisoners here are
> flunkies and snitches.
>
> The dog continues to receive special privileges. He is
> regularly released and seems to be more than willing
> to return. He is obviously retarded.
>